i haven’t been on here in a while.

only about a week but you know. i miss you guys. so much has happened in the past 12 hours. 

i finally told my best friend how i felt for him. how much i have fallen in love with him. and i feel terrible for it because he’s so happy with his girlfriend. thing is, he told me he still has feelings for me, that they never went away, and he thought that dating her would make them go away, and that they haven’t. i’m just so confused. i haven’t slept. i wrote him a 3 page letter and he’s going to come by today. he’s at morning workouts right now. and i asked him what would make his heart feel better, if he passed this and never found out what could have been, or if he at least took the chance even if it didn’t work out. he chose the later. he’s leaving for mexico on saturday. he’ll be back in two weeks. i know he’s going to need time to think. he told me how badly he’s always wanted to be with me. and i’ve always felt the same way but i was too scared to ever ever tell him because i didn’t want to lose his friendship. apparently he was in the same situation because he never said anything. but then he told me how much he has always wanted this. how it was more than he could ever dream of. there’s just so much on my mind.